Wife of Young Pastor Who Committed Suicide Over Depression & Anxiety Speaks Out: “I Am So Sorry”

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Andrew Stoecklein , the lead pastor of Inland Hills Church in Chino, California, aimed to take his own life on Friday, August 25, 2018. He was hurried to the healthcare facility and put on life assistance, he regretfully passed away on Saturday.

“ Last night, the love of my life, the dad of my kids and the pastor of our unbelievable church took his dying breath and went to be with Jesus, ” his better half Kayla composed on Instagram. “ It wasn ’ t the wonder I was wishing for however he is now in paradise with his daddy, without discomfort, without anxiety and stress and anxiety. ”

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Last night, the love of my life, the dad of my kids and the pastor of our extraordinary church took his dying breath and went to be with Jesus. It wasn ’ t the wonder I was expecting however he is now in paradise with his daddy, without discomfort, without anxiety and stress and anxiety. • He was a remarkable other half, he genuinely made me much better, made me seem like the most gorgeous woman worldwide, and he enjoyed me so deeply. We fit so well together, we were one. He was an incredible daddy, his 3 young boys are going to miss him a lot. He had such a unique and distinct relationship with each of them. He was an exceptionally talented instructor, communicator, and pastor. He was unique, one of a kind and will be missed out on by countless individuals all around the world. • Please wish me and the kids. I wear ’ t understand how I am going to face this, I am entirely sad, lost, and empty. Never ever in a million years would I have actually pictured this would be completion of his story. • If you are fighting with self-destructive ideas or actions, please inform somebody. Please ensure you ’ re not alone, and please call a pal or member of the family prior to you make that irreparable choice. You are liked and valued more than you understand! #godsgotthis

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A post shared by ; font-size: 14px; font-style: regular; font-weight: regular; line-height: 17px;” href=” https://www.instagram.com/kaylasteck/?utm_source=ig_embed” rel =” noopener “> Kayla Stoecklein (@kaylasteck) on

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A vicious, hard-fought fight with anxiety and stress and anxiety was mentioned by both Kayla and Inland Hills Church as the factor for Andrew ’ s suicide.

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His terrible death has actually rocked the country and increase the requirement for the church to discuss psychological health and suicide avoidance.

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“ In this disaster, we motivate anybody who is injuring mentally to request for aid, ” Inland Hills advised in an upgrade. “ If you or anybody else is having a hard time, the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-TALK( 8255) is a possibly life-saving resource. Might we be a beacon of expect the neighborhood, to save the harming and honor the God that Andrew served so well.”

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Now, just a couple of days after the catastrophe, Andrew’ s grieving better half Kayla has actually appeared to compose a letter to her dear Andrew, and it is both heart-shattering and moving beyond words.

“ To My Andrew, It ’ s just been 3 days, ” she composes in opening. “ Nothing can remove the suffocating discomfort I feel now you are gone. I miss out on every part of you, I see you all over. I replay the occasions of that eventful day over and over once again in my mind wanting I might have done things in a different way. Wanting I might have held your hand one more time and hoped over you and informed you just how much I like you, what does it cost? I think in you, and how God’ s got this too. ”

You can practically feel Kayla’ s heartbreak in your bones as she continues to discuss her hubby’ s battles and how regretful she has to do with not totally comprehending the depths of his discomfort:

“ You were right the whole time, I really didn ’ t comprehend the depths of your anxiety and stress and anxiety. I didn’ t comprehend how genuine and how unrelenting the spiritual attacks were. The discomfort, the worry, and the chaos you need to have been handling each and every single day is inconceivable.&rdquo

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She likewise boldly calls out the opponent for assaulting a male of God who Satan KNEW was a risk to his wicked kingdom:

“ The opponent understood exactly what an incredible male you were. The opponent understood God had big prepare for your life. The opponent saw how God was utilizing your presents, capabilities, and special mentor design to reach countless lives for Him. The opponent disliked it and he pursued you persistently. Ridiculing you and abusing you in manner ins which you were not able to reveal to anybody.&rdquo

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Despite his psychological health fights, Andrew was on fire for the Lord, and Satan had a strategy to ruin him.

Kayla goes on to make a heart-wrenching list of all the factors she’ s so awfully sorry:

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“ Andrew I wish to inform you from the depths of my heart and my discomfort I am so sorry.

I am so sorry you were so afraid,

I am so sorry you felt so alone,

I am so sorry you felt misinterpreted,

I am so sorry you felt betrayed and deeply injured by the words and actions of others,

I am so sorry you were battling a dark spiritual war practically alone,

I am so sorry you were not able to completely get the assistance and assistance you required.

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The mourning spouse likewise notes all the “ another possibilities ” she wants she got with her cherished spouse, like holding him, sobbing with him, and motivating him. She wants Andrew might hold their kids one last time and a minimum of inform them farewell … though naturally neither they, nor she, was all set to.

While Andrew’ s father was fighting leukemia we clinged to the expression “ God ’ s Got This. ” • It was Andrew ’ s concept to develop a blog site so that individuals might follow along the journey. Andrew was exceptionally enthusiastic about the expression “ God ’ s Got This. ” • We have actually sent out numerous countless wristbands all over the world with those valuable words embedded on it. • Our household is still holding tight to that expression even now. We are opting to think that “ God ’ s Got This. ” We put on ’ t comprehend it, we dislike it,it makes us upset, we can ’ t even breathe, however we are relying on God. • This early morning I composed a post to my spouse, if he was here these are the words I would state to him. You can check out the post on godsgotthis.org. • Andrew, we will keep “ God ’ s Got This ” alive in your name. #godsgotthis

A post shared by Kayla Stoecklein (@kaylasteck) on

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Unable to consume, sleep, or function after the terrible loss of her other half, it’ s fantastic Kayla might even summon up the words to compose this soul-wrecking, yet deeply impactful letter.

“ I am not all set to bid farewell. I am so incredibly and deeply in love with you. Every part of me longs to be with you. I can’ t consume, I can’ t sleep, I can ’ t function and I feel so lost without you. You were my life. I was so happy to be your spouse Andrew. I was so happy to being in the front row and enjoy you in your sweet area on phase. I was constantly so surprised by you, each day. You might do anything you set your mind to! You came in handy, you made every house we resided in appearance stunning within and out. You were innovative, you were amusing, you were thoughtful, you were enthusiastic, you had vision, you had charm, and you were so unique. You are irreplaceable Andrew. There will never ever be another guy like you.&rdquo

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Kayla charges that no matter what, she will never ever stop defending Andrew which she will continue to inform the world what a genuinely remarkable guy he was.

“ Your name will be honored and you will be kept in mind as a hero, ” she guarantees.

“ You battled the excellent battle, and I can just think of the amazing location God had actually gotten ready for you when you strolled through evictions of paradise. I can just envision exactly what it should have seemed like to see your father once again, strong and healthy. I can just think of what does it cost? happiness you should feel now that you are genuinely totally free. I want I might be there with you, commemorating on the streets of gold. For now, I will continue to live for you. I will raise our kids to be guys of God, much like you were. Your name will reside on in an effective method. Your story has the power to conserve lives, modification lives, and change the method the Church supports pastors.&rdquo

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In signing off, Kayla thanks Andrew for “ 10 terrific years together ” and 3 valuable blued-eyed children who look much like daddy. She likewise thanks him for selecting her and teaching her to live life fearlessly.

In this dreadful time, Kayla is deciding to hold on to God for her strength and trust that this disaster will be utilized for great and His magnificence:

“ Until we reunite I will hold on to my Father in paradise. He will bring me through every 2nd, every minute, every hour of every day. I check out a verse today and I understand God is advising me that even now, in the middle of my inmost discomfort that He has actually got this:

‘ Because you are close to me and constantly offered my self-confidence will never ever be shaken, for I experience your wrap-around existence every minute. ’ Psalm 16:8 (TPT)

With all my heart and all my love,

Your Girl”

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During this time of unimaginable sorrow, please join us in wishing Kayla, her kids, and the Inland Hills Church parish. I hope that Andrew, his battles, and his story are always remembered and might exceptionally affect the lives of others.

If you wish to assist support the Stoecklein household, you might contribute to their GoFundMe page here .


If you or somebody you understand is dealing with a mental disorder or ideas of suicide, please understand you are not alone. Suicide is entirely avoidable . There is hope. PLEASE connect if you are experiencing self-destructive ideas, or fear that somebody you like may be.

If you require support today, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text “ START ”to 741-741.

Read more: https://faithit.com/wife-pastor-andrew-stoecklein-committed-suicide-anxiety-depression-speaks-out/

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