They work for crap pay, have crazy hours, travel in sealed bacteria chambers and get to deal with the finest of humanity. And along the way, they stay at some very classy hotels. Either when they’re ground or in the air, flight crews encounter all types and forms of fluids and even some solids. The term “slam and click” is their metaphor for getting to their room, closing the door, locking it and hiding until it’s time to get up and face the masses once again. So the next time you’re low on Diet Coke and ready to punch the call button, take into account what flight attendants suffer through on a daily basis and at least smile and be polite.
From a flight attendant at a Radisson: “I was walking to go warm my food up in communal lobby microwave because we get no micros in rooms. I felt something drip onto the hand I was holding my food in. I looked up and saw this.”
From a jet-lagged airline employee staying at the Renaissance Hotel in Mumbai, India: “I don’t think this toilet has been properly cleaned since the ’80s. Or perhaps it has and the guest before me just drank the tap water. Either way… GROSS!”
That Came Out Of The Shower
From a flight attendant on layover. After she showered she noticed all of the dirt particles that had accumulated on the floor of the tub. She swears it wasn’t on her when she got in, it wasn’t there WHEN she got in, so that pretty much leaves one way.
A Fungus Among Us
From a flight attendant on layover in Orlando who believes there was an actual danged ‘shroom growing in the shower at her hotel.
Blood on a bed. Is it fair that flight attendants who deal with this crap on the job should have to find it when they’re on a romantic getaway with their sweetie?
From a flight attendant at The Focus at SFO. Checked in and found paper wadded-up, plugging the door peephole.
Hotel Airplane Lav Snot
From a major stockholder in Purell, who says, regarding this blob of bloody snot on the vanity of the first-class lav: “I didn’t pay enough to clean up this”.
From a flight attendant: “My toe just got stuck in some unidentifiable goo on the floor in my room. I refuse to get down and smell it for the sake of the research department.”
A Little Birds Nest Of Hair
A diminutive flight attendant who found this cache of hair in her hotel shower at a Courtyard by Marriott in Richmond.
Moldy Hair Dryers
From a flight attendant on layover in New York City, the Captain from the crew found a giant cockroach on the ceiling of his room.
Someone Really Wanted To Get In
Someone REALLY wanted to get in to this room at the Galt House in Louisville.
Hotel El Paso Phone Funk
From a flight attendant on layover: “True story. Last night/this morn there was a loud party somewhere on our floor. When I finally got tired of being woken up time and again I called the front desk about 3 am to complain. This phone had an ODOR to it, a HORRIBLE odor like someone had wiped their butt with it. While I was complaining to the desk clerk about the noise, I had to hold receiver AWAY from my ear, the funk was that bad. Afterward, I then had to go and wash my ear and face off because I could still smell the reek.”
Hotel Nashville Smoke Detector
Who would steal a smoke detector? As seen in Nashville.
From an airport hotel in Orlando. Nice. Probably not a tub you’d want to take a bath in.
From a flight attendant on layover in Corpus Christi. She blames the opaque window crud on: “salt air and the petrochemical plants on every street corner.”
Another look at some under-the-sink grossness at a Comfort Inn in DC from a flight attendant being a tourist.
Hotel Door Jam
The airlines have protocols and procedures to protect their flight crews on layovers and savvy employees learn the do’s and don’ts of life on the road. But sometimes the lodging doesn’t accommodate. From a flight attendant on her night between flights.
Hotel Blurred Pee Pee
Discovered by a flight attendant on layover in LA. She reported it to the carrier so she wouldn’t get blamed.
Not So Grate
What the hell? At an airport hotel in Syracuse.
When Electroluxe Meets Flobee
On an international jaunt, “I would like to proclaim my absolute hatred for these types of hairdryers. Not only does it look like a vacuum cleaner or a Flowbee, but it takes me 25 minutes to dry my hair with this POS.”
At the Hyatt/Jacksonville. The previous users of the phone chewed tobacco, had flaking scabs, Ebola or all of the above.
Multi-Tasking With Your Bidet
At the Intercontinental Hotel in Amman Jordan courtesy of one of the legions of harried, under-paid, over-abused sky waitrons.
A flight attendant at a hotel in Milwaukee found this little bugger lowering itself down to join her in bed. Shrieks and hairspray sent it RAPIDLY back up to safety on the ceiling.